A Less-Lonely World

The other day I went wading at the edge of the ocean. Just knee-deep in the water, I felt invigorated by the cold and the surprisingly strong pull of the waves. At one point, I looked up and saw an otter pop up out of the surf just a few feet in front of me. 

Otter looked right at me… and I waved hello. 

As soon as my hand returned to my side, I felt a little silly, wondering if other beachgoers had noticed me waving at an otter. And then, just a minute later, Otter resurfaced and again looked straight at me. I couldn’t help it—I waved. 

The sustained gaze shared between us felt so personal that, strange as it may sound, it felt almost rude not to acknowledge each other’s presence in some way.

Recently on a walk, I had a similar experience. The road wound upward, wooded on both sides, and as I was looking down into the gulch on one side, I locked eyes with a young deer, a buck with antlers still velvety. We shared a long, long look at each other, and then he turned to busy himself with other things.

Connection is defined as “a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.” Connection is what I felt when I was sharing space with Otter and Deer, when I saw and felt them looking back at me. Seeing and being seen. As it turns out, Connection is one of our basic human needs. We need to belong to others, to feel ourselves as linked together, not alone.

This need is not surprising, but it might feel surprising to speak of relationship between human beings and other beings like animals, trees, Ocean, and so on. Have you felt this connection? Maybe you have a pet with whom you commune and communicate daily. Perhaps there is a tree that you’ve spent time near, under, or in…and when you’re there, you feel a certain comfort, presence, or energy.

New/Old Knowing

Of course, the idea of connection and relationship with more-than-human-beings is not surprising at all from an indigenous perspective. Indigenous wisdom has always acknowledged the personhood of non-human beings, seeing and speaking of creation as our mother, father, brothers, sisters; and because of this deep familiar sense, indigenous cultures have been respectful and ceremonial in how they move through the community of the living earth. 

For a long time there has been a turning away from this ancient wisdom toward the newer fields of science and logic. Generations ago, many people tried to do away with traditional ways of knowing, and believed only what the still-developing scientific tools could demonstrate, partnered with a hierarchy of humans first, with the rest of the world as “things”— ours to use and eat. 

But lo and behold, as science continues to develop, evidence is being uncovered that supports the ancient knowing about the personhood, the sentience of other beings. Because scientific tools have advanced to detect things that we couldn't detect before, intriguing observations are emerging. We are learning that trees, fungi and other beings have their own intelligence that is different from human intelligence. For example, it is now known that trees communicate with each other, more specifically, with their kin. Through fungal networks under the ground, trees share resources with each other to help their family grow strong and healthy. 

This recent research and observation is interesting, and it sparks wonder. If, years ago, someone had suggested that trees communicate with each other, they might have been suspected (depending on the century or decade) to be a witch, to be “touched in the head,” or to be a silly hippy tree-hugger. Nowadays scientific papers state tree communication as fact. Perhaps with this new/old understanding, we can dismantle the accompanying false hierarchy that puts humans at the top, and we can reach out further to make connections with other beings.

As the current research continues onward, there will be more and more advanced tools that inform us of more and more surprising new/old discoveries. What will science uncover next that will move the “outdated” or “crazy” ways of thinking into the realm of what is acknowledged as true and sensible? In addition to trees communicating with each other, will we learn next that they want to communicate with us?

Exploring Relationship

M. Amos Clifford, Founder of the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy Guides and Programs, writes:

“Almost all indigenous cultures knew at least some nonhumans as sentient, possessed of awareness and capable of intentional action on their own behalf and to benefit others, having their own form of individuality and personhood. This view extended beyond animals and plants to include rivers, stones, and mountains. Their forms of sentience are seen as quite different from ours, but nevertheless essential to the fullness of the fabric of life. When our blinders are shed and we, too, become aware of sentience in all living things, our view of the world and our place in it shifts. Our new perspective makes us capable of developing relationships that are deeply meaningful and supportive.”  

These last two sentences are revelatory. If we acknowledge and allow that beings other than humans have their own ways of perceiving, knowing, and communicating, we open up a whole new world of possible relationships, possibilities to give and receive support, opportunities to feel a sense of community and belonging.

Robin Wall Kimmerer—scientist, professor, author, and enrolled member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation—shares this possibility: “Imagine the access we would have to different perspectives, the things we might see through other eyes, the wisdom that surrounds us. We don’t have to figure out everything by ourselves: there are intelligences other than our own, teachers all around us. Imagine how much less lonely the world would be.” 

For Clifford and Kimmerer, it is not strange at all to be in relationship with trees, or with other beings, for that matter:

From Kimmerer: “I come here to listen, to nestle in the curve of the roots in a soft hollow of pine needles, to lean my bones against the column of white pine, to turn off the voice in my head until I can hear the voices outside it: the shhh of wind in needles, water trickling over rock, nuthatch tapping, chipmunks digging, beechnut falling, mosquito in my ear, and something more—something that is not me, for which we have no language, the wordless being of others in which we are never alone.”

From Clifford, on communicating with trees: “It’s a process of normalizing three ideas: that we can be in actual relationship with trees, that trees (and other beings) are imbued with their own forms of sentience, and that through our imaginations, we can contact that sentience.”

I find it refreshing that Clifford is using imagination as a valid way of communicating and being in relationship, and I love this permission to not be so logical about things that feel true. The way I go about exploring these new-to-me relationships is with playfulness, embracing the not-knowing as being ripe with possibility. 

All of this is to say… if you like to talk to animals and trees, if you can sense their unique energy, if you feel they love you back, what if you just go with it? You might discover different ways of being in conversation with these beings that don’t share your language. Perhaps you can speak about your wonder and connection in your mind, or through a gesture, or whisper your love on the breeze. And if you’re feeling doubtful, but curious… Why not let that curiosity lead you into exploration?

In addition to waving at otters, sometimes I high-five the mustard flowers that angle across a hiking trail. I often whisper, “I love you,” to the hawk in the tree above. I rest my head against the deeply furrowed bark of a redwood and ask, “What do you want to tell me?” And then I listen.

I am richer for it. I am not alone.

I’m wishing you the warmth and wonder of new connections,
🦦 Katie

🌼 Cultivate Your Relationship:

OutdoorsKatie Dutcher