Boundaries with Yourself

Check with Your Needs

Use the Needs Inventory to check in regularly with your needs. What needs are being met? What needs is not feeling met right now? Find some quiet space to check in with how you’re doing (while journaling, meditating, or walking) so you can feel and address balance and needs.

Physical Well-Being

Physical well-being is fundamental, a building block of well-being that we sometimes tend to ignore unless/until something is going wrong. Take time to feel the signals from your body, and commit to listening, determining what’s needed, and following through, especially when it comes to:

• Resting, especially choosing real rest over fake rest like technology and TV

• Looking at habits like hurry and stress — Is it possible to rest/relax WITHIN what you are doing? Pay attention not just to what you are doing but HOW you’re doing it. Can you move and work with ease rather than internal pressure?

• Choosing nourishing food and taking time to eat it mindfully.

• Moving a little bit everyday

Rest and Refresh: Give Yourself Real Breaks

Rest isn’t optional — breaks from work help to refresh and restore our attentional focus and keep our energy up throughout the day.

Take a Moment: 2-Minute Micro-Meditations

Go Outdoors to Refresh: Mindful Connection with Nature

Intentional Transitions

Consider creating beginning of day and end of day rituals that allow you to consciously transition into and out of work mode.

• Beginning of day ideas: A short walk, setting up your workspace, 3 bullet points of your intentions for the day.

• End of day ideas: Shut-down ritual, last email check, 3 bullets for tomorrow, view tomorrow’s schedule, note one thing you’re proud of from today. Change clothing, if possible, move into your most valued fun/connection/self-care activity.

Boundaries with Others

Sometimes we say yes, when we’d really like to say no… or we just suddenly find ourselves with much more on our plate than is realistic and sustainable.

Check your inner response

• Make a habit of checking in with self - pausing before responding. Buy time: take a few seconds, take an hour, a day. This communicates that you are being thoughtful, that you care about the request and completing it effectively.

• Take a few breaths and sense inward. What does a yes feel like? What does a no feel like?

Communicate NO with kindness and clarity. 

When the response is no, we try to communicate clearly and kindly.

Tips:

• Negotiate/Ask for more information (especially with superiors): In order to prioritize this, what would you like me to take off my plate or delay?

• Consider the amount of information needed: sometimes a reason is helpful. “I’m under a deadline right now, so I’m not the best person to ask.”)

• Sometimes the best response is a simple no without a lot of detail. “No, I don’t have the capacity right now.” “No, unfortunately, I’m not able to commit to that.” “No, I’m not comfortable with that.”

Be aware of “post-no discomfort.” Sometimes after we have said no, even though it was appropriate and kind, we still feel uncomfortable, we wonder if the person is displeased with us. This is a moment to take a breath and remember that feeling nervous is not necessarily a sign that we did or said the wrong thing. A person being displeased is also not necessarily a sign that we did or said the wrong thing. Saying no can feel strange when we don’t usually say it, so maybe this discomfort is appropriate — you are on your way to creating a new habit that is very healthy for you!

Work One-on-One: If you’d like some support as you implement new ways of being, let’s work together! Email me at hello@katiedutcher.com or check out my coaching page.

Learn More: I offer various courses, meditations, and retreats throughout the year, as well as free mindfulness resources — take a look!