Glimmers: Catching the Tiny Moments
Recently a colleague pointed me to an interesting article that I enjoyed reading, on the topic of GLIMMERS. Most of us are familiar with the opposite of glimmers—triggers, which are small but powerful moments in which we instantly feel unsafe, stressed, or fearful. A strange look fleeting across a friend's face as we speak, for example, can instantaneously have us feel vulnerable and uncertain.
Glimmers, in contrast, are the moments where we, just as quickly and powerfully, feel a sense of safety, rightness, and ease. A moment of shared laughter with a loved one or the smell of fresh ocean air can quickly provide nourishment to our whole being.
While both triggers and glimmers happen in very small amounts of time, the impact they have on our nervous system is immense, sending us into fight or flight mode or mobilizing the rest-and-digest mode of the parasympathetic nervous system. This is crucial for many reasons, in large part because, as the article states, "More time in the parasympathetic nervous system-activated state reduces your risk of disease."
As I read the article, I was reminded of the upcoming free workshop, Flourish by Cultivating Joy and Resilience, where we'll discuss large and small ways to lean toward the light, and I also remembered this blog post that I shared last year:
Imagine two versions of you…
Both versions of you are living in an imperfect, often scary and disturbing world, on a personal as well as a global level.
See one version of you walking down a path. You’re preoccupied. Maybe you’re talking on the phone or glancing at an email as you walk. Maybe you’re moving quickly to get as many steps in as you can. Maybe you’re looking at the ground as you ponder and ruminate. (Or… maybe this version of you isn’t outside at all. Maybe instead of going outside, you’re taking a break by cyberloafing, browsing through Facebook or Amazon.)
Now look away to another version of you walking down the same path. Your phone is at the bottom of your bag. Your gaze moves out in front, now up to the treetops, now all around you. You are here and you know you are here. You’re paying attention. There is an open, receptive quality to you, a sense of curiosity.
These two versions of you are experiencing the same life struggles, they are walking in the exact same place, at the same time of day.
One is open to an experience of something remarkably positive and life-enhancing like joy, wonder, amazement. This one spies a spider-web at the side of the trail, each thread glistening with dewdrops. This one hears the gentle sssshhh of a crow’s wings flapping by in the still air. This one sits for a few minutes at the base of a mighty eucalyptus tree with sun on her shoulders. Any moment, this one is ready to experience what could end up being the highlight of the day or even a favorite memory for years.
And the other… just misses it.
Why does this matter so much?
My mind goes to the work of Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychologist whose book, Positivity, helped me change my life. In Positivity, Fredrickson writes about the ratio of positive experiences to negative experiences in our lives. Her research shows that there's a tipping point, that if mostly negative experiences and negative emotions occur throughout our days, we will feel like we're struggling, languishing, just barely surviving.
At a certain point, around three positive experiences to one negative, we flip from languishing or just doing okay, to flourishing and thriving. (Side note: Frederickson’s use of the word flourishing spoke to me, which is why I call my work "Flourish & Bloom.")
Each of us is going through something, often a lot of things at the same time. Pain, anxiety, and uncertainty are part of life on Earth. We don't get to choose or opt out of these difficult experiences.
But we do get to choose what is counterbalancing these stressors. We can choose to invite experiences that open us up to joy, wonder, peace, belonging, connection. We can choose to sprinkle into the dark shadow many glimpses, no matter how small, of light. And when these light-filled moments arise, we can make damn sure that we notice what’s happening and SOAK. IT. UP.
These positive moments go into our mental/emotional bank, adding into the ratio of positive/negative experiences to help counterbalance all the difficult things that are also going on, so that we still have a chance to survive and perhaps even to flourish, even in the midst of troubling times. This is called resilience.
If you’d like to access lots of tiny-but-powerful daily practices to lean toward joy, come on over to Flourish and Bloom. (The “Joy & Resilience” resource folder is available on both the free and membership plans.)
Wishing you awareness of the glimmers threading through today,
🌼 Katie
