Years ago, my friend and I had a little debate….
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I am drawn to (driven to?) productivity, as many of us are. It comes through our culture, this emphasis on doing, doing, doing. It feels good then, to be productive and to accomplish a lot in a day. It feels gratifying, as if all of this doing means something. If I dig way down deep, achieving seems to mean that I am enough-- good enough, hardworking enough. At the same time, this can feel like a kind of tyranny-- that I MUST accomplish a lot, and if not, it could mean that I failed in some way. But what if I’m tired? What if I’m not feeling well?
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No, I can’t have that old me back. That’s water under the bridge now. I can create the new Katie in any way I want, but I can’t have the old one back.
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“Do you believe there is someplace that will make the soul less thirsty?” Do you believe there is a right and wrong way to do everything? A good and bad?Kabir invites us to come away from that imaginary river, that fantasy goal, and simply rest in the reality of who we are—embrace what is solid and firm.
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"Look at a leaf of a flower with mindfulness, listen to the song of a bird, and you will get much more deeply in touch with them. After a minute of this practice, your joy will increase, your breathing will become deeper and more gentle..." -Thich Nhat Hanh
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Fredrickson gives a map of how to induce the upward spiral in our lives-- by intentionally creating and savoring positive moments, states, activities. I took the general principles that she mentions and brainstormed my own lists-- things I could do in my life to shift the balance just slightly from the negative to the positive. Each week, I would create a set of little goals for myself.
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Our challenge is to notice the moments when we start to feel insecure and shaky, defensive or aggressive, put off balance by something that life has thrown at us. In these moments, can we try to whisper, I am enough instead of What if I can't do this?
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Have you had the thought that you're not doing it right? That if you were lost in thought, it doesn't count?
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"Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky."
-- Ojibwe saying
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We stay nimble, we dance along in our own steps. We stay engaged, but we don't let our own thinking get in our way. And then...we sleep under the stars.
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